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i did not write this. it is legendary though. THE PUNK ROCK PRINCESS
Once upon a time, in a far away land, there lived a Punk Rock Princess. The Punk Rock Princess ruled her very own Punk Rock
Kingdom, where Punk was liked by all, and there were NO trendy people. No
Gap, Old Navy, DKNY, and most of all Abercrombie and Fitch. Punk Rock CD's
and gear grew from the ground in beautiful flowerbeds and the Princess was
loved by everyone. The Princess' birthday was coming up, and she was planning
a huge Punk Rock Ball. Everyone in the kingdom was invited, and there was
going to be great bands and lots of beer. Each day that passed only meant
that it was getting closer and closer to the Punk Rock Princess' Punk Rock
Ball. Everyone was excited, especially the Punk Rock Princess. She was a
beautiful Princess with plaid gowns that were totally rad, and spikes dazzling
her crown. She could not wait until her birthday. Then one day, it finally
arrived. Everyone was partying and having a great time. About an hour into
the Punk Rock Ball, strange men showed up. They unplugged the band's equipment
and screamed for everyone to evacuate. "Alright ya fuckin' punks, get outta
hea'!" One of the strangers yelled. He held up a piece of paper that he claimed
to be some type of permission for them to do this. "State your name and business
here in the Punk Rock Kingdom, by orders of I, the Punk Rock Princess!" she
shouted back at them, her Oi! Fist high in the air. The strange men snickered
and sneered. "We're from the Construction Company. We have been instructed
to pave this joint down. It's a good thing too, 'cause the world doesn't
need these kind of people." They answered, in a harsh tone. "But why?!" cried
out a crusty punk. "We're putting in a huge shopping mall- and fast- so get
the hell out!" was the reply from the ugly leader of asshole men. "You can't
do this!" screamed a pissed-off skin. "Wanna bet?" the mean old men screamed
impatiently. By some means of the fucked up government, what these men were
doing was legal. Nevertheless, the Punk Rock Princess and her loyal Punk
Rock subjects would not stand for this. It was time for some anarchy. The
Punk Rockers were psyched to overthrow these fuckers. The anarchists planted
small bombs in the men's machinery. The punk chicks beat the shit out of
half the assholes, and the rudies kicked everyone in their path. Fireworks
were randomly thrown. It was a total revolution. When they knew they were
defeated, the strange men backed away and ripped up all the paperwork. The
Punk Rock Princess was very pleases with her victory. She stood up on an
overturned machine and called out to the men (who were smart enough to be
leaving now). "Another Punk Rock victory! This should teach you never to
come back to my Punk Rock Kingdom uninvited!'' Then she turned to her people
and said, "A little anarchy never hurts a Punk Rock ball!" With that, she
jumped into the pit and was carried around the room by her fellow Punk
Rockers.
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